Blog archive 12/2024

31/12/24

19:04

Bored & Kinda sad

I hope this day passes fast, I just want to start the new year without all this commotion and firework. I am so bored bruh and I'm feeling bad lol. Starting a new year feels kinda refreshing in some way. Like a new bland start I guess.

12:57

Chill & Weird

Happy new year in advance guys, I didnt get any fireworks this year so yeah today is not really special besides it marking te end of my vacation coming closer. Probably gonna spend today a bit bored, I'm currently playing fortnite and listening to my new MCR cd! Also stressing a bit about school again bruh I hate that.

27/12/24

11:12

Bored & Energetic

I love watching old tv shows from the 80's where they just put punks, goths and hardcore/emo kids up against "normal people".

Might hop past the thrift store later today, I hope they have a cd shelf, I really need one.

26/12/24

00:05

Tired & Nostalgic

Started watching wonder egg priority again, great anime! Watched it about 2 years ago now. Its so beautifull and sad at the same time, really deep messages. Love the characters!!

Also excited for spring haha, would love to hear the birds sing again, I'm so excited to go on a vacation with my best friend to the veluwe probably in summer. I hope at the start just like this year. Best vacation I've ever had. I would love to go again!

Also started learning and German again, makes me feel a little more acomplished now. Same goes for lifting weights at home a bit, I want to get more in shape and stop eating candy and shit everyday (like I did when I was going to school.) Considered doing kickboxing again, but hell nah. I'm never going back to that one gym. The teacher was a bit of a weed addicted, moneygrabbing, trans/homophobic trainer (Wich I do not fuck with, if you are trans or homphobic GTFO of my blog!) But yeah he was an biased asshole.

Well those other activities make me feel really nostalgic to spring again, hope it will come soon. I know I shouldnt focus on it that much lol, and I wont. But its a nice reference point. Its a good thing because I have something to look out to, only downside is that my bestie is gonna move wich is sad. But it will be okay hopefully, I hope we will stay close (ofcoure!!)

Gonna sleep now for real guys bye!

25/12/24

10:36

Bored & Tired

Happy xmas everyone!!! Altough I dont feel the christmas spirit at all, it just feels like another regular day. Its such a shame that it almost never snows in the Netherlands...

22/12/24

22:33

A bit sick & Chillin

I hate having colds, the worst part is that my ears get like clogged and everything sounds muffled. Like PLEASE let me listen to music normaly >:[ . Also working on school a bit now so I'm getting a bit of hope!

22/12/24

22:33

Weird & stressed

Today was kinda boring, worked at my grandmas house, made a DnD character and made a bracelet. Tried to relax a bit and take some time for myself today bc I was tired, for some reason I wake up very early in the morning everyday and I cant seem to fall back asleep lol (even when I feel tired.)

I have been feeling stressed alot lately tho, about the upcoming testweek, about college, about work and money. Fuck the system guys, am I right??! This shit is taking a toll on me, and on my nails... Because I've bitten them all off (thats what I do when I'm stressed for some reason.)

Its always when I have schoolbreaks that I stress the most, doesnt really feel like a break, atleast I cant really enjoy it because I keep thinking about school and the future. It scares me and I'm uncertain of what is to come.

Looking back at summer vacation is also so weird, idk... Reading blog posts from back then make me so sad, same goes for listening to music I was into back then. Today I am also feeling weird and uncartain, and I cant really place why. The tought of having no control about these things is so weird and scary.

I dont even crave for summer anymore but for spring, spring was a really nice time this year!!

16/12/24

23:04

Excited & Unsatisfied

After school I went to pickup some packages, I rode my bike past a point where I used to sit and think while listening to music. At the same moment while passing the sun was shining wich was so nice, that moment reminded me of spring very much.

I got headphones finaly! They are from Skullcandy and were made in 2007, I bought them for like 6 euros. The fun fact is that the packaging was unopend, the headphones have been in there since 2007. So cool!!! Also the theme is like indian tribeish. It got some tomahawk on the side and fluffy ear/head pads! Really glad I finaly got headphones because the sound is so much beter then earbuds! If you want to see how they look you can go to my tumblr bc im too lazy to upload them here :3 .

15/12/24

22:41

Stressing & Thinking

I'm gonna start a cd collection probably haha, my bestfriend bought this radio/cd player and that encouraged me to also buy one (I have yet to receive it.) I bought a few cd's already, to start off with (I'm not going for bookshelves full ofcourse, but I might buy some cd's here and there. Just a decent normal collection.)

Last friday I wen to a record store with a school friend, it was so much fun looking trough the selection of cd's and exploring new artists. I bought 2 cd's, one of the Cure and one of Siouxsie and the Banshees. My friend bought 2 random cd's, a triphop album and a (skate)punk complication. We went to his house after and listened to the cd's wich was so cool and epic. Really something wich I would want to do again. The whole experience of the record store and having actual physical media is just so much better than being spoiled by streaming platforms like Spotify.

14/12/24

23:08

Tired & Satisfied

Hey guys gonna keep this short bc im so tired, went to germany with my dad today and it was really fun!! We talked about music the whole car ride and also listened to some. The city we were in was really nice and there was christmas decoration everywhere (I'll the pictures here tomorow.)

I bought some sewing suplies and decorations so I can make some cool modifications on my clothing!! Also found cool cd's in a random warehouse store wich was super suprising yet cool, found out about an awesome german poprock band through this (I'll also upload pictures of these under physical media tomorow!) Germany is so much beter then the netherlands tho, stores have actual thing you want and need, really handy.

Im gonna sleep now guys bye idk if I forgot to say anything but idc rn.

12/12/24

23:27

Refreshed, Reliefed & Happy

Im feeling pretty good again, im gonna focus on myself, I dont even know why I did this to myself. I'm feeling better. Less is more guys, never forget. But what do I know tho, I'm just a boy tryna make sense of life. I'm feeling hopefull for once. God may you relief me of the hardships in life, let me bloom for I have been longing for so long. I hope it will be the same as spring this year, everything back to normal ^-^.

ly all guys ♥♥ bye ♥♥.

11/12/24

23:16

Idk tbh

Today was pretty fun!! Had a short school day and then went to hangout with my bestfriend! Also picked up my new converse wich I bought for like 10 euros (THANKS VINTED), so now I have 2 pairs and I also picked up my jack skellington Disney Infinity figure!!

I am also fr thinking more and more about starting to use like a old cellphone instead of my smarthphone. Idk if I have the motivation to do so but I tought it would be cool and minimalistic to start using an older phone. Tbh my smartphone is starting to get to me really, especialy social media and expecting people to talk to me or something. Maybe I would be alot happier with a so called "dumbphone". I have yet to find a good one on vinted sadly but I hope I will get to buy one in the future. Maybe my life will become a whole less stressfull because the main thing that is bothering me is worrying about my connection with people or something idk...

Idk this will probably sound weird but when I wake up in the morning, I cant help to feel stressed or scared while booting up my phone, my heart racing and fucking almost pumping out of my chest to see if someone responded or if I got any new messages or notifications. Idk if anyone gets me it is pretty weird I do say so myself.

Gonna sleep now bye!

10/12/24

23:19

Longing & doubting & a bit sick

You know what I really want or long for? A close friendgroup somewhere in a rural town bruh... In a pinewood area!!!!! You know those midwest emo bands??? Where all the members are close childhood friends living life like whatever? Swimming, band pratice, skateboarding, hanging out in the parking lot of the local convenience store... Things like that, no worries about if you are gonna be staying friends with them because you know its for life!! Something like the video clip from: Title Fight - "Head In The Ceiling Fan". I would murder someone to life in a area like that...

Dont get me wrong I know alot of people and I am like really grateful for the people that I am close with! I do hope I'll keep those people as best friends because I wouldnt know what to do without them. I love them but sometimes I am just a bit of a worry head :) .

9/12/24

22:41

Chill & somewhat tired

Just watched this short documentary about Hot topic and the timeline of the store, I was just so bored that I finaly decided to sit down and watch something. Old Hot topic just looked so much cooler, especialy in the 90s and 2000s. Such a shame that those stores change. There arent even any stores like that in the Netherlands, most stores dont really sell any alternative things bruh :( . Vinted is my best friend tho, im happy to be able to get some cool clothing there from time to time.

It would just be so much beter if there were cool stores like that here, also as like a meeting point for cool people. There are some people here that dress alternative wich is nice but yeah, to get in touch with them is hard and kinda akward out of nowhere... I know girls who have a really good taste in clothing, and there are also some girls at my school who dress cool. But I havent really seen a guy who dresses like that. Its like rare to see one who has a really unique and alternative style, I hope I dress cool tho because otherwise I would sound like a prick ha.

3/12/24

22:30

Good & A little weird

Hye guys I have been feeling better the last few days, I'm finaly making some progress I guess. Listing to more Midwest emo than Screamo has significantly improved my mood (wich probally sounds silly but still is true.) It also kinda gives me that spring nostlagia from this year, wich is nice but I hope that that feeling didnt come early and that I will still enjoy that feeling in the spring.

Something that I realized again today is that life has ups and downs, as the dutch people say: "Na regen komt zonneschijn" wich translates to "After rain comes sunshine." And I know that Dutch probably sounds weird to the one reading this and that the Netherlands kinda suck, but hey. This saying kinda is true.

And its not like I really have the right to complain, I mean people are starving and dying all around the world. but still I made/make my life so much harder then it should be, really my only worries are in my toughts/are my toughts wich sucks. But hey I should see every small step I make as a good one.

Value the small things in life, I know its hard when life is fast paced and you're caught up in things. But hey, its okay really... Just dont forget to take a deep breath and take some time for yourself.

I know it may seem impossible, but you will eventualy overcome your hardships in life, to the person reading this, wherever you are, whoever you are,YOU are stronger then you think and you deserve the best, know that people love you and that you deserve to be loved ♡♡♡ I'm gonna sleep, byee!

2/12/24

23:02

Relieved & Vague

Im gonna keep all my clothes that I have now so if I ever get children I can give them the cool clothing yes and then I'll pass on my swag and drip yk what I mean. And even if I dont have kids I will give it to my nephews or something I'm gonna force them to have drip!! And then I'll be the cool lonely and mysterious uncle who can show them pictures of me at their age and wow that would be so cool, I'll probaly have a drinking problem by then tho.

Bye guys was feeling silly im gonna slep!!!

1/12/24

08:44

Happy & Jolly

Guess what guys... ITS DECEMBER 1ST YIPIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.